Palin's Memoir Due in November; English Edition to Follow

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - A memoir by former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will be published this November, with an English translation due shortly thereafter, her publisher confirmed today.

According to Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for the publisher, translators are working "around the clock" to translate Ms. Palin's text into English.

"We have hired the best linguists in the country, but this is still hard work," Ms. Foyler acknowledged. "It must have been easier to crack the Enigma code in World War II."

Ms. Foyler said that the publishing company was "delighted" with Ms. Palin's manuscript and "deeply relieved that she didn't quit in the middle of it."


J said... / Sep 29, 2009, 2:34:00 PM  

You resent her

Codester said... / Sep 30, 2009, 5:11:00 AM  

When we ridicule Michelle Bachmann or Virginia Fox... why do conservatives not say...

"You resent her"
"She scares liberals"
You're jealous"
You feel threatened by her"

Honestly, when I saw bios about her rise in Alaska politics, I admired her spirit and sense of fairness and fighting for the common man, middle class, and state taxpayers. I think she believed in what she was doing, and went straight to Gov. on populism. And good for her.

But she was sorely unprepared for politics on cutthroat national level. At first, we all saw it as a cheap shot by McCain just to grab up Hillary voters, but we held that against McCain, not Sarah. Hell, she was pretty likeable in that first VP acceptance speech.

The press was hard on her later on, but not unjustly so in the beginning. Part of that was McCain's group shielding her from access for so long. But when they did release her for public access, the age old caveat applied very quickly...

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Those Couric interviews damaged her bad right off the bat. And that's not Couric's fault. Those were not unreasonably hard subjects that even a state level politician would be caught unaware on. She blew it.

After that... (and probably being at odds with her camp and McCain's) SHE became resentful. Every since... she has not learned when to shut up and brush insignificant issues off. She goes in there battling back on petty skirmishes and comes off looking more intellectually incurious, bitter, unfocused and uninformed.

Then, quitting on her constituency... that was the icing on the cake. If she tries to run nationally, (whether it was the right thing to do for Alaska or not at the time) you'll see her get slammed hard on the quitting topic.

She's a trainwreck, she's entertaining to watch, someone libs love to hate (her issues and beliefs are bad enough) but in a way uptight people hate Howard Stern because he can be grating and irritating and say outrageous things. Pure sensationalism.

I don't want sensationalism in national political leaders. Can you imagine her calling a press conference to respond to something that was said about her in the press... the way she fires back in Twitter (before) and now FaceBook? That's not focus. That's scatterbrain.

Libs are not threatened by Palin, trust me. We LOVE that conservatives lover her so much. She's the epitome of how we see you guys. We want more Palin, not less.

J said... / Sep 30, 2009, 1:29:00 PM  

I don't want to rehash her political rise and fall, I'm not really interested in that. When I say resent, here's what I mean:

Michelle Bachman doesn't breed the resentment from urban, childless liberal women the way Palin does.

Codester said... / Sep 30, 2009, 5:35:00 PM  

Oh, well that's probably true for some liberal women, I'm sure. But I could care less about her motherhood. I wouldn't say that I identify much with a "modern feminist" mindset as eluded to in that piece.

Her daughter's situation is certainly an indictment on her view of abstinence only sex ed. But otherwise I don't give a second thought to childbearing abilities or any other woman.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a mother with three kids. Amy Klobuchar has a child as well as Hillary Clinton. Claire McCaskill has seven kids. These are competent thoughtful political women. Not scatterbrains.

Palin is the object of my ridicule for the same reason as Bachmann, Fox, Steele and Pete King and Glen Beck. Simply for their boundless capacity for inarticulate thoughtful political reason and perspective time and time again. They're goofballs. They don't command respect.

J said... / Sep 30, 2009, 7:11:00 PM  

"I wouldn't say that I identify much with a "modern feminist" mindset as eluded to in that piece"

Ok good, but where are your babies? You may not explicitly agree, but you've implicitly followed the bra burner generation's advice to wait as long as possible, as if there's an infinite time to have babies.

"Her daughter's situation is certainly an indictment on her view of abstinence only sex ed."'s not. Her daughter's situation may be an indictment on her parenting, but I could care less about her or any other politician's parental abilities. We can give kids the greatest "use condoms" sex-ed we'd like and there will still be kids who fall through the cracks if they are hanging out with the wrong people. This is the primary reason I'm not the progressive I once used to be, this "funding solves all social problems" mentality with no regard to the notion of individuals being imperfect.

"Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a mother with three kids. Amy Klobuchar has a child as well as Hillary Clinton. Claire McCaskill has seven kids"

Debbie is one of the ugliest women in politics and deep down you know it. Hillary Clinton is one of the most cheated-on women of the 20th century. Amy has "a" child is the keyword, liberal women are being out bred.

Great piece by Arthur Brooks, "The Fertility Gap
Liberal politics will prove fruitless as long as liberals refuse to multiply."

McCaskill is a Chewbaca. None of these women are as attractive as Palin and their husbands (with the exception of Bill Clinton) don't make the female gina tingle the way that Todd Palin does. If they were a liberal family, Todd would have a movie deal by now with his handsome ass. And being that he works outdoors, you know he's strong and masculine and oozes sexual prowess that the aforementioned women lack in their lives.

Codester said... / Sep 30, 2009, 9:05:00 PM  


Wasserman is ugly, so is McCaskill. Sarah and Todd are both pretty. And kids are all that qualifies anyone's political gravitas.

Best analysis and critique I've heard about liberals in some time. lol

Frankly, you just satisfied a few stereotypes yourself.

J said... / Sep 30, 2009, 10:40:00 PM

Look at her...I mean yuk! And look at her nerdy husband, just happy to be getting some. You know if you were at a bar and Steve Shultz came up to you, the best you'd do for him is take him out and he'd probably spend all kinds of money and not get any. You know she wears the pants in that relationship, he's probably glad she's in Congress because she's probably a bitching nag at home. Todd Palin, on the other hand, would walk right up to you and seduce you into taking him home after touching his manly arms and rock-solid chest. And in the morning, you'd cook Todd breakfast and give him the works too.

"Frankly, you just satisfied a few stereotypes yourself."

Not really. Palin's cute, but she's not Scarlett Johansen or anything. I'm not really attracted to mothers of young kids, she probably smells like baby poop once you get up close. She just stands out so much due to the presence of so many ugly liberal miserable women in politics.

KathleenShimp said... / Oct 3, 2009, 10:05:00 PM  

J, oh my, really did you just ask her "where are your babies?"
I'm a woman here without babies, either, at nearly 38- but it isn't because I followed the "bra-burner" advice- it's because I had never met anyone I wanted to marry, and I knew it would be a bad idea for me to be a single mother.

So my babies don't exist either, at least so far, but it isn't because of feminism, but something almost old fashioned, not wanting to have them outside of marriage.

Codester said... / Oct 4, 2009, 12:42:00 AM  

Frankly... I just don't like kids.

People who do not like kids... shouldn't be having kids.

I have nothing against anyone else if they want to have them. Lil piece of advice... don't ask me to babysit.

J said... / Oct 4, 2009, 3:06:00 PM  

KathleenShimp said...

"but it isn't because I followed the "bra-burner" advice- it's because I had never met anyone I wanted to marry"

Are you hot? Are you in shape? Do you smell bad? Are you a nagging bitch? I don't know you, so just taking your word for it doesn't make sense. Your problem of not finding anyone you wanted to marry may stem from a sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations of life brought on by the bra burning generation, stupid Hollywood romantic comedies, and shows like Sex & The City. Being that the primary goal of the female is to propagate the species, there's an emotional hole that needs to be filed when they decide to opt out of their biological duties. In the case of liberal women, they throw themselves into "causes" like going to run 20 miles for global warming, protest Michael Vick getting a contract, start blogs, and drawing obscene photos of Sarah Palin.

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