Nobody's Laughing at Senator Al "Clown" Franken Now

Via Cesca

This is worth watching all the way through.

Franken used to do something similar on his radio show regarding "weasel words." While sexual assault victims "prevail" more often than not in this twisted binding arbitration forced upon them by corporate fine print, KBR was clearly being sneaky about the definition of "prevail." Weasel word. Round of applause for Senator Franken for nailing these crooks.

More Like This, Please

Via The White House

President Obama today on the health insurance cartel:

They’re filling the airwaves with deceptive and dishonest ads. They’re flooding Capitol Hill with lobbyists and campaign contributions. And they’re funding studies designed to mislead the American people. [...]

It’s smoke and mirrors. It’s bogus. And it’s all too familiar. Every time we get close to passing reform, the insurance companies produce these phony studies as a prescription and say, “Take one of these, and call us in a decade.” Well, not this time.

Now let's crack down on the bastards.

Saturday - Tune of the Day

The Meteors - Little Red Riding Hood

Little red ridin' hood, even bad wolves can be good.
Gonna' keep you satisfied. Just walk on by my side.
And before we get to Grandma's place, you ought to see things just my way.

Indicted Man Threatened To Kill President And Scrawl "Fed Shit" On His Chest


In the latest unhinged threat on Barack Obama's life, a California man has been indicted by a federal grand jury after allegedly writing a deranged and racist email screed that urged recipients to "kill the 'president,'" and seemed to invoke the recent death of a Census Bureau worker in an apparent act of anti-government violence.

On September 28th, according to the indictment filed by prosecutors and examined by TPMmuckraker, John Gimbel of Crescent City sent an email whose subject line read:

Operation kill big-[epithet]-rig: kill the 'president' [epithet], then write 'fed shit' on his chest with a felt tip.

That last clause appears to be a reference to the recent death of a Census Bureau worker, who was found in rural Kentucky with a rope around his neck and the word "Fed" scrawled on his chest, in what many have suggested was an act of anti-government violence.

In the body of the e-mail, as reproduced in the indictment, Gimbel, 59, used a string of crude and racist epithets in additionally calling for the murders of Michelle Obama and the couple's two children "in front of" the president. You can read the sick diatribe here.

Prosecutors did not say who the email was sent to. Asked by TPMmuckraker, a spokesman for the US attorney's office declined to elaborate beyond the indictment.

Gimbel has a history of making threats against public officials, reports the San Francisco Chronicle. In 2004, he was accused of writing an email that complained about getting a $5 parking ticket then asked "all of the citizens of Crescent City to fix up some of these f- up piggos. Grab those hi-powered deer rifles, each and every, and get in groups of 50 and more and go breeze away to dust the skull of the police chief." The paper reports that Gimbel was convicted of making the threats, but that the conviction was overturned on appeal.

In a separate case, Gimbel was accused of leaving vulgar messages on the voicemail of a sheriff's deputy who had cited him for having faulty brake lights and no proof of insurance. The deputy eventually obtained a restraining order against Gimbel.

Hey Lobbyists, Big Firesale On Votes At John Ensign’s Office!

Via Wonkette

Sex-having Sen. John Ensign hauled in a whopping $33k for himself and his Republican Party last quarter, down approximately $300,000 from the previous quarter, when he was still a virgin. This is great news for the corporates!

Ensign’s vote-selling fee is spiraling down down down to a farthing’s worth: “Most of Ensign’s contributions since news of the affair broke came from individual donors, although he did receive $1,000 from the BlueCross BlueShield Association in September, just as the Senate Finance Committee — on which he sits — was considering its health care bill.”

In a few months, John Ensign will be living in an Anacostia dumpster soliciting Dixie cups of urine and cigarette butts from Goldman Sachs in exchange for a vote against financial regulation. [Politico]

Loving Every Minutes of This

Via Cesca

Limbaugh is having an all out tantrum about this NFL thing. Check this out:

LIMBAUGH: They [Democrats] have to have a villain to advance everything, because they cannot sell their ideas. They had to demonize me with false, fake, made up quotes. To protect their precious little — National Football League as an outpost of racism and liberalism, which is what it is.

WAAAAAHHH! I couldn't help but to think of the New Yorker cover from last March:


Limbaugh loves football, but football hates Limbaugh. Excellent!

Friday - Tune of the Day

Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice
Check out my new weapon, weapon of choice

Rush Limbaugh Can't Kick A FootBall. So It Is Written!!

Via HardBall

This is the yelling that woke up Cody at 7:45 on Wednesday night... where we learn that Don Imus is the Messiah and not Barack Obama.

Jake Tapper Employs Secret War Code To Save Meghan McCain

Via Wonkette

The anonymous Internet users of Twitter all responded with a rare “sexual” tone, in their anonymous comments, to the art photo Meghan McCain posted last night of two monstrous boobs reading an Andy Warhol biography together. Meghan was terrified! Had these folks already forgotten the tenets of the Lanny Davis Civility Pledge they were required to take a few weeks ago? At least the ABC News White House correspondent hadn’t.

Joe Wilson, Serena Williams, Kanye West, and now Internet users responding Meghan McCain’s boobs: This sierra has gone mike-foxtrot warp speed, and ABC News correspondent Jake Tapper is determined to stop it. Now show him your foxtrot hall pass or he’s telling teacher.

[Colleagues -- pls bookmark Jake Tapper's super gay Twitter message here; remember to use code gimmick in future posts about JT]


The Concept Of “Meghan McCain” Reaches Its Natural And Necessary Conclusion

Via Wonkette

Well! Now you have gone and done it! Meghan McCain is so furious about the lack of positive attention she received upon posting a photo of her boobs wearing a tank top that she is THISCLOSE to committing the unthinkable: not posting photos of herself online. Ha, no no, just kidding, obviously not that. …she is THISCLOSE to committing the unthinkable: leaving Twitter.

See what we were supposed to see upon seeing this photo—that one over there by the giant breasts—was something like, “Andy Warhol? The artist? Goodness Meg! Art. We had no idea!” This is why everything about the photo is the way it is.

Maybe if you knew anything about art, like Meg McCabe or Andy Warhol, you’d know that.

[McCain Blogette]

Jon Stewart Takes On 30 Republicans Who Voted Against Franken Rape Amendment

Via Alex Leo

In 2005, Jamie Leigh Jones was gang-raped by her Halliburton/KBR co-workers while working in Iraq and locked in a shipping container for over a day to prevent her from reporting her attack. The rape occurred outside of U.S. criminal jurisdiction, but to add serious insult to serious injury she was not allowed to sue KBR because her employment contract stated that sexual assault allegations would only be heard in private arbitration--a process that overwhelmingly favors corporations.

This year, Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) proposed an amendment that would deny defense contracts to companies that ask employees to sign away the right to sue. It passed, but it wasn't the slam dunk Jon Stewart expected. Instead the amendment received 30 nay votes all from Republicans. "I understand we're a divided country, some disagreements on health care. How is ANYONE against this?" He asked.

He went on to show video of Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) arguing that it's not the government's place to decide who the government does business with and juxtaposed that with Republican sentiment on how the government should deal with ACORN. "I guess it's an efficiency thing. You don't want to waste tax-payer money giving it to someone who advises fake prostitutes how to commit imaginary crimes, you want to give it to Halliburton because they're committing real gang rape."

Thursday - Tune of the Day

Foo Fighters - Tired Of You

So shame on me for the ruse
Shame on me for the blues
Another one returned that I'll never use

Studio Version

Church With Very Discriminating Palate Will Burn Everything

Via Wonkette

We do not know too much about Jesus literature. What kind of monstrously fucked-up prude porn is in the King James Bible that grants it — and it alone, out of EVERY ITEM EVER MADE — a stay from this North Carolina church’s Hell-o-ween holocaust? Maybe it’s the action scenes.

Also, and don’t even attempt to answer this: How does a human being become this insane? Imagine how hard you would have to work, mentally, for your whole life, training yourself to be as insane as fucking possible about everything, every object you see, every interaction you have, to the point where you would plan or attend this church’s Halloween book burning non-ironically, agreeing with each aspect of this itinerary on earnest grounds, actually believing that this event would result in some sort of pure, positive good, and then telling people in public, on the publicly available Internet, about this event. Try to imagine for yourself a hypothetical psychological path that would lead you to this sort of existence. “Clinical psychosis” won’t even get you halfway.

These people vote in elections that affect everyone.

(And obviously we support the burning of all of these terrible televangelist books — but not because they aren’t religious *enough*)

[Amazing Grace Baptist Church via Raw Story]

Wednesday - Tune of the Day

Elvis Costello - She

May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

Tattoo Artist Scott Campbell Cuts Up Currency & Burns Tortillas

Tattoo Artist Scott Campbell Cuts Up Currency & Burns Tortillas

Shared via AddThis

Tuesday - Tune of the Day

David Bowie - I'm Afraid of Americans

Jonny wants a brain
Jonny wants to suck on a Coke
Jonny wants a woman
Jonny wants to think of a joke

Let’s Remember the Day Columbus Visited the Bahamas!

Via Wonkette

Christopher Columbus, which means “Our Lord’s Anus” in Portuguese, was a famous wingnut racist who didn’t even know where he came from, but he was hired by a shadowy cabal of Spaniards and the Knights Templar to find an easier route to the emerging economies of Communist China, because the Islamo-Fascists had blown up the highway to Afghanistan!

Because “Cristóbal Colón” couldn’t even do basic math, he “computed” that the world was about seven miles around. So if he sailed west across the Atlantic, surely he would end up in Hong Kong in like four days. Everyone thought this was a great idea, in Spain. So the Knights Templar loaded all of Jesus’ mulatto children aboard Miss Maria’s Ford Pinto and off they sailed on the world’s first shitty Royal Caribbean Cruise. They landed in the beautiful Bahamas and gave all the locals syphilis, which is exactly what happens today at those “Sandals” all-inclusive resorts.

In October of 1500, he was arrested for constantly torturing everybody in the Haitian town he founded, Abu Ghraib.

Eventually, six weeks later, Franz Ferdinand let him out of prison and World War I began. Columbus spent his final crazy years writing a blog about how he was going to take Jerusalem back from the Iraqis.

So, no mail delivery today!

Columbus Day Closures [LA Times]

Round - O - Shots on Cody

Belly up to the bar at The Shaking Hand, Boys n Girls...

Time for some Flaming B-52s.

Monday - Tune of the Day

Nine Inch Nails with Gary Numan - Cars

Here in my car
I know I've started to think
About leaving tonight
Of how nothing seems right
In cars

Gone (Going)

Look at you out to make a deal
You try to be appealing but you lose your appeal
And what about those shoes you’re in today
They’ll do no good
On the bridges you burnt along the way

You’re willing to sell anything
Gone with your herd
Leave your footprints
And we’ll shame them with our words